My experiments with the phone

Like Gandhiji experimented with the truth, I, divinediu will experiment with the phone.

I have two cell phones and three sim cards. I have sent upto 300 text messages a day. Not forwards. But text messages. I usually carry both my phones everywhere. I am simply unable to switch off my phone for no reason. My phone is an extension of my arm and low battery or weak signals alter my mood quite negatively.

I will not use a phone for a month. (Except on weekends when I'm home.) The sms rani is phoneless now.

I expect to experience withdrawal symptoms, mood swings and a lot more free time and sleep time. In my free time, I will read, exercise, meet up with people, introspect, pray, paint, sing, dance, show love and write.

I can be happy without a phone, can't  I?

(I got this photo from here)

I am pretty sure I'm going to miss getting good morning and good night texts the most.

The Kiss Of Death (55 fiction)

He tried not to think of her disappointment each time he kissed. She would never understand what this love meant. Had she known that he’d cheated…..NO!

He was hers, hers alone. She wasn’t willing to let go. Or share.

The kiss of death.

He put it out.

She was worth it. Without ifs or but(t)s.

PS: I think this is one of my favorites. I think it comes even before this.

If you're reading this...Please stop. It would mean a lot to me if you tried really hard to.

THREE DAYS

Three days without internet.
Three days without facebook.
Three days without blogging.


THREE DAYS.


WITHOUT.


You get what I'm saying, don't cha?

It was BAD. I am addicted. So i suffered bigtime.
I wasn't getting any studying done, and I hadn't done any studying.
So the net HAD to go.
I considered confiscating my celly too, but I didn't wanna be harsh on myself. What if I actually diedof lack of human-interaction-through-electronic devices?? I ripped out my net ka cable and carried it to college, gave it to my buddy. That was the only way.

How I survived:

• Sleep
• Dream
• SMS
• Call
  
• Think of all the stuff I could have blogged about when I had net
• Make my friend check for blog comments and face book wall posts

(Thanks LOADS for the comments!! It was a nice feeling. To hear a "yes" to these desperate questions.)

• Try to go online in my cellphone
• Switch on the laptop every five hours. Run Mozilla. Get "error in connecting to server" message. Switch off.
• ..........................and a little studying, but mainly the stuff above
  

The exams went okay. Terrible, actually, by normal standards, but mine was extremely last minute, so I'll go with 'okay'.


I have my cable back. And I can facebook again. Life makes sense.


PS: I have noticed-I get very vulnerable during exams.
End up crying for some totally unrelated minor thing.

My Third First :P

It's 2:15 am and i just decided to make my blog private. Well, i get excited real easy and i HAD to write something right away.

I'm going to be a new ME from today. Not totally though, I feel i'm really great in certain areas. That ain't gonna change! :D

Well, college starts in less than a month away, I have done exactly what i wanted to do these holidays - basically catch up on all the sleep I missed out on in the past few years. Well, it is two in the morning and i have set an alarm for 5:30 so i don't think i'm getting much sleep right now, but that's okay.

Since this is my first private entry, i've decided to talk about something that i have never spoken about earlier. Weight loss. I know it probably sounds corny but its true . :)

I've always been a chubby kid right from when I was a baby. But as i grew older, it started to put down my self esteem. I felt real low whenever i thought about my weight. I hated to come in front of a camera or a mirror. I really did. It was not like my friends were leaving me out or anything. They did not make fun of me. I still have the same bunch of friends even now. So its pretty great, I love them like crazy :)

Well, every thing has a breaking point- something that pushes you over the edge. Mine was when J cracked a pretty mean joke about me.I was in 11th grade.It was not in public or anything, we were texting each other and he said something- i really don't remember what it was right now. It was not hurtful as such. But it was just not the done thing to say.Well, that made me feel really bad. My friends are the closest to my heart. So if they hurt me, i really get upset. I just turned off my cell phone and went to bed weeping that night.

The next morning, i decided that there HAD to be some changes.

It started with the food. I controlled the size of my portions. I stopped ice cream and sweets. I don't know why but it was not hard to do at all. The hectic schedule in college helped. So did the rotten food available at the college canteen. I used to cycle nearly 10 kms a day - not for the exercise though. I used to walk, initially. But then I barely had time to spend at home and I wasn't allowed a vehicle so I got myself a cycle.

I got results. Not immediately, but eventually. My jeans started getting loose. People started noticing my weight loss- which really doesn't matter 'coz i was doing it for ME. to get my self esteem back.

Well, in this "new skin" , i probably look a lot different. I feel a bit better too. Not lots though, i got to admit. I really got to get my self esteem up higher 'coz i know what i feel inside is not right.

The good stuff is I get to wear sizes i never even imagined in my wildest dreams i could get into. Some of my clothes are actually "small"... LOL.. Most are mediums but yaay anyway! I have this really cute lil black shirt from victoria's secret that my aunt bought me from the US. No one has ever seen me wear that. I'm too shy .. :"> .. but when i wear that, i really do feel much better. I've also kept my fav tee from back when I hadn't lost weight yet. I got to bed wearing that sometimes. It gets me all emotional. *sniff*

Till date, i have dropped 45 pounds. (It sounds much more in pounds ;) ) I want to lose 5 kgs more (That should sound less coz that's a goal and it has to sound achievable to me :) ). That's just wishful thinking, though. Not to say I'm not going to try. I'm getting up at 5:30 tomorrow and going for a morning jog.

Ego or flexibility?

You had an opinion a few years back. You made a huge fuss about it. You are having second thoughts about it. Do you change? Or do you stick by your word, no matter what?


I was just thinking..


What is the right thing to do? I prefer change.
I hate the idea of having to make a decision that i won't change, if i can help it, that is.


For example- Having a kid. Once someone decides to have a baby and has one, they can't undo their decision. Its a permanent decision once the baby is born. Such decisions are not what I am talking about. These are like paths you can't go back on- I'm just talking about the general cases!


Other stuff. Like decisions on drinking, drugs, virginity, marriage.. Such stuff. Tough. I prefer to review the decisions i make rather than make one, stick by it forever. It doesn't mean i will change it ever so often. It just means that it is open to change.


Another example- A very common one. A person believes in arranged marriage. Let's make it a "he". Now this guy goes in for one. He is happy. He has children. They grow up. They do not believe in the whole arranged marriage thing. They want to go in for a love marriage. Now, he has always made it clear to other people that people who allowed their kids to go in for such marriages were irresponsible. Or those marriages never work out. Whatever- you get the idea. Just generally bad press on the other option. Now, getting back, his children want to opt for love marriages(for whatever reasons). The guy now has two options
1. To listen to what his children have to say. They are grown enough to make a decision after all. And it is their life.
2. Just turn a deaf ear to them. Totally disagree whatever they have to say. Say that respect in society is all that matters. And that he is not going to support them.


I'm not saying that you shouldn't stick by what you say. I'm just telling that it may not always be the right thing to do.


So.. Ego or flexibility?..


Flexibility. Definitely.



Chapter not closed


:)

Decisions

I admit it. I suck at decision making. A typical fence sitter - is what best describes me.



If there is a way out, and I don't have to make a choice, I go for it. Someone else, having a strong view; I tend to get easily influenced. Is this a good trait? Probably not. How did it start? I'm not sure. I guess you have noticed the trend by now.



Recently I had to make a decision- quite a major one, actually. About my college- one near from home and the other a bit far away. The usual stuff - you don't get the stream you want in the college you want (hard working achievers, please skip this!!). Anyways, anytime I make up my mind and say to myself- "This decision is over, Divya. Don't think about it anymore", something always happens. Someone gives some strong advice, opinions, facts, these shake the foundations of my decision, maybe because my decisions aren't strong enough in the first place!!I cannot give you a final take on that one. Unless i step foot in a college campus and finish my first (hopefully un-ragged ) day, the decision remains pending.


So, what I think I'm trying to say, is that, no matter how strong or weak decisions are, you only have to make them when the time comes, if the time comes. It is up to you whether to keep the doors ( and windows, if you wish ) of your mind open or closed till that crucial moment.


"Vanilla, chocolate or mix?" asks the softee vendor. "Chocloate, please", I reply quickly.
Come on.... I know I'm a bad decision maker..... But choosing anything else over chocolate..You gotta be kidding me!!